The wonderful intern students from Honda spent the day working on the farm. They helped clear tree damage from the tornado, dug MANY post holes for our ropes course fence, dismantled the old mine field and raked sand in the covered arena. What a delightful group of young folks!  Thanks to Stephanie Alexander of Honda’s community relations department who organized this fantastic event. This was a wonderful gift for the kids we serve!

Recently, I was attending a Natural Lifemanship seminar hosted by Glenn Magargee and saw the phrase “necessity is the mother of invention” in action. It was time to re-fill the hay rings, a task that usually requires a tractor with a hay spear.   But, Glenn has discovered quite a unique method….she fills the back of her truck with hay rolls, parks it on a hill, and then pushes them out with her feet.  The rolls slide out and then she puts the hay rings over them.  As Glenn says, “Old ladies are stronger than they look!”  By Joy O’Neal

Our group was in Welborn at Crabapple Cove farms, The home of James and Donna Lloyd.  They have graciously shared their beautiful farm and their 20+ paso fina horses with us for several years.  This particular day we planned to do an activity called Extended Appendages.  the kids are divided into groups of 3.  They lock elbows and the one in the middle becomes the only speaking member – the brain.  The other 2 are the right or left hand respectively.  They can only use that hand and only move as instructed by the brain.  their task was to catch, groom and saddle a horse.  If you know anything about horses you know that Pasos are noted for being a bit high strung.  These are no exception to that rule.  We had 9 boys so there were 3 groups.  They each chose a horse.  Two of the groups got right to their task.  The 3rd. group, however, had chosen a young yearling who was confused about whether he was a horse or a frog!  He was jumping all over the patio of the barn. I was concerned that they might get hurt trying to do the activity so I suggested they just groom this young gelding.   The young man holding the horse was about 6’2″ tall and angry with the world.  He had been coming for several weeks and participated but his heart was not in it and his attitude was always sullen and angry.  Today he was very frustrated that he could not control this small horse.  I suggested he lean down and blow gently into the horses nose so he could get his sent and maybe not be so afraid.  He obediently did so and immediately the young horse just seemed to melt.  For an hour this troubled young man bent in half to blow into this young, frightened horse’s nose.  Each time the boy would stand upright to rest his back the young horse would stretch his face up to him as if to say ” please don’t go away!”  This 17 year old young man would quickly resume his bent over posture and blow gently in the young horses’ nose.  They were to be forever friends!  His buddies were able to do a great job of grooming – even cleaning his feet!

This young man had spent most of his childhood selling drugs, trying to survive.  He learned early that he had to be “bigger and badder” if he was going to make it.  He trusted no one.  All his friends were friends because they were afraid of him.  Today, however, changed him forever.  On his evaluation paper that day the young man said ” I never knew I could have a friend without being a bully.”   He experienced compassion for the first time and he liked how it felt!!

Our group of CHINS petition girls had been for a walk in the pasture with the horses.  It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm.  Several girls in the group were new to the farm and it was their first experience with a horse.  They were allowed to choose the horse they wanted to be with that day.  Some chose one they had bonded with before, others who were first timers chose the one they liked the look of.  It was an eventful walk with several of the girls finding some challenges moving their large friend in the pasture.    As they were all standing around the barn pasture with their horses some were petting and hugging their new friend.  One young girl – new to the program, had a difficult horse – we call him our problem child.  As I approached her I saw that she looked troubled.  When I asked what was wrong she burst into tears saying,”I never knew how I made my parents feel.  It is terrible.  He is just like me – so disrespectful.  He would not ever do what I asked him to.  I am so sorry.  It feels so bad. ”   What a revelation!

As she left the barn that day she declared “I will never treat my parents that way again.  Now I know how it feels and I don’t like it!”

Yesterday, a group of boys from a local day program came to visit us.  They’ve been coming for three weeks in order to work on their life skills and gain a sense of self as a part of their counseling curriculum at their school.  This particular group is younger than most we see and several of them have significant mental health diagnoses.  I’ve been carefully planning my activities in order to make sure they have the absolute best opportunity for success.

It was the perfect fall day and we decided to play the egg and spoon relay where we divide into teams and each person must balance an egg in a spoon and lead their horse through an obstacle course.   The goal is for each member of the team to complete the obstacle course without dropping their egg or letting go of their horse.

One boy named Sam (name changed) had particularly struck a chord within my soul because of emotional challenges and the fact that he rarely chooses to speak, a visible evidence of the pain in his heart.  Sam was terrified of the horses, but still comes each week to participate in our programs.  When it was Sam’s turn he was afraid to take the horse’s lead line.  When I asked him if he needed help, he was unable to answer and just stood there wide-eyed.  The perfect example of a deer in the headlights look on his face.  I asked if he were going to have help would he choose someone who had previously been successful or not successful at the activity.  He turned his gaze to another boy who had just successfully completed the course, even though he also had severe emotional challenges.  I then asked if he wanted George (name changed) to be his helper, and he shyly nodded yes.

George smiled and said, “I’ll be happy to help” and walked over towards Sam.  George asked Sam if he wanted to lead the horse and Sam froze and couldn’t respond at all.  George then took the cue and said, “I’ll lead the horse and you hold the egg.”  Together, they then successfully maneuvered the obstacle course.  As they returned to the starting line, my eyes filled with tears to see Sam speaking to George and both boys grinning from ear to ear.  

What he said, I’ll never know and it really doesn’t matter.  What counts is that Sam realized that he could ask for help and George realized that he could be a leader, even though he has his own challenges.  It takes a lot for someone to reach out, but it also takes a lot for someone to be willing to give.  The connection these boys made will help them through their remaining weeks at this facility.  They will now know that together they can accomplish a challenging task.